


I Am Nothing To Be Had, and Neither Are You

by 64_wilted



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Begging, Bratty Bottom Axel, Dirty Talk, Finger Sucking, Hate Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, d/s dynamics, during organization xiii, except not really, implied past Xemnas/Saix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:00:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22228288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/64_wilted/pseuds/64_wilted
Summary: Saix raises in the ranks of the Organization and Axel does the dirty work. That was what they agreed on from the start. Axel wouldn't mind a "thank you," though. He'll take what he can get.
Relationships: Axel/Saïx (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	I Am Nothing To Be Had, and Neither Are You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [corporalsassy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/corporalsassy/gifts).



Praise from the Superior’s lips always tended to bring satisfaction. Saix accepted it, though this time, as it often was, he hadn’t lifted a finger. Xemnas gave praise to Saix, meaning VIII had gone through with it after all. It was aggravating that what should boost his pride immediately brought a flash of red to his mind.

They’ve been through this enough times that they’d developed code that was second nature. Saix requested Axel meet him in the castle’s library late at night; he would have worried that Zexion would have been up reading late at night, but he was long disappeared -- another product of his and Axel’s machinations.

Axel was there first, flipping through a book, surely not absorbing a single page. Certainly Axel had sensed his approach, but as drama would dictate, he did not budge. 

“You did what I asked after all?” Saix announced, soft but firm.

“I’m fine, thank you. And how are you?” Axel spat, not looking up from his ‘reading.’

“When have we ever bothered with pleasantries?” He strode passed him, signaling him to move to a study corner hidden behind rows of bookcases.

“Almost ran into Demyx washing off the blood,” Axel hummed.

“Then perhaps you should have found a body of water.”

“It’s not like I expected a thank you, but goddamn,” he snarled. “You wouldn’t be a lapdog if not for me.”

“Watch your tongue.” Saix’s tone matched Axel’s. “Maybe you would have gotten thanks if you weren’t such a brat.”

“I doubt it.”

“This is what we wanted,” hissed Saix. “You don’t have to make it so… hostile.”

“Really?” he scoffed. “Me? The hostile one?”

“If I were chummy with you, it would raise suspicion.”

“Aren’t _you_ the one who said I should value our _real_ friendship? Don’t you think the reason I’m still soiling my hands for you is because I want to believe that somewhere in this husk of a man is my Isa?”

“I told you not to call me that anymore.”

“Why? So I can be the one to get rid of him for good?”

“You need to learn your place.”

“Then why don’t you fucking put me in it? Why would you ask me to choose you over Xion and Roxas if you don’t give a shit about me?”

It was fortunate the bookshelves were melded to the floor, for a regular shelf would have surely toppled with the sheer force of Saix slamming Axel into it.

“Ow? What the f—“

“Shut _up,”_ Saix commanded, placing his hand firmly over Axel’s mouth. “You’re going to get us caught.”

After licking Saix’s palm, Saix flinched back his hand.

“You absolute child!”

“We killed the people who would come in here, remember?” taunted Axel. “Maybe we should go to my quarters. Risk someone hearing through the walls. How do you think master would feel if he caught us talking about our feelings?”

“We don’t have those, remember?” he growled.

“Clearly _you_ must have forgotten them, since all that power made you forget why we’re hiding here in the first place.”

A thigh pressed between Axel’s, holding him firmly in place. He gasped at the intrusion. Saix spoke, “I recall. I recall everything. I recall when we kissed, stupid teenagers, as you attempted to comfort me. I remember we vowed to stay together, and after he gave me this scar, no one was there to hold my hand.”

“That’s because—”

“I recall being a weak child in love with his best friend, only to be replaced the second the scenery changed.”

_“Isa!_ That’s not—”

He was cut short at two fingers on his tongue. “That shut you up.” Axel tried some illegible protest before Saix pressed his thigh harder. “You were so keen to drool on my hand before. Suck my fingers. That’s an order.”

To Saix’s pleasure, Axel obliged. He was unsure where to put his hands, let alone whether or not he should retaliate.

“You wanted me to put you in your place, Axel. Seems appropriate for me to pin you down like this. You’ll be begging for my orders by the time I’ve had my way with you.”  
Fingers slid out of Axel’s mouth. “And why the hell should I let you?”

Those fingers moved to the bob of his throat, pushing down hard. “You’re so keen on feeling. You want to feel a sense of security, for things to be logical. How better than to have me take complete control of you?”

His hand loosened on his neck, causing Axel to cough and gasp for air. “You’re such an asshole.”

“Perhaps I’d believe you if choking you didn’t turn you on,” he purred, thigh pressing through leather. “Or is this something else?”

“Fuck you.”

“Do you recall,” Saix replaced his thigh with his palm, “right before we lost our hearts? And I touched you, in a dark corner of Ansem’s lab, just like this?”

“Isa,” Axel muttered, face contorting into different expressions, as if his brain and his arousal were fighting for control of his face. 

“You clearly do,” whispered Saix. “You insisted we go back to our quarters. We had no idea what we were doing, but our passion made it extraordinary.”

“You honestly think I’d forget?” Axel growled. 

“No. I don’t.” He pushed Axel’s waistband down just enough so he could fit his hand over Axel’s length. “I assure you I’m much better at this now.”

“You fucking Xemnas? The douchebag can’t feel, but I bet he loves a warm mouth. I bet he loves when you call him master. You think you were the only one replaced? You fucking hypocrite.” Axel swore he saw Saix flinch.

“I don’t see how that’s your business. You’re not the only one doing the dirty work. If I can use my body to get ahead, it will not stop me.”

“You really are heartless,” he breathed. 

“Does it make you jealous?” His hand gave a particularly cruel tug. “Are your memories betraying you? We aren’t real. I am nothing to be had, and neither are you.”

“You’re jacking me off and you can’t even act like you give a damn. You could at least kiss me. Tell me that you are clinging to the memories we shared.”

“Would that please you?” he hummed. “Where would kissing get us, besides you shutting the fuck up? I am putting you in your place. As Axel. I fully intend to bend you over the desk behind us, fuck you until you plead for release. And when you cannot walk correctly tomorrow, you will remember why you are here. Your purpose. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You want me inside you?”

“Damn it,” panted Axel. “Yeah.”

Saix tugged him back, doing exactly as he intended. He yanked off those constrainting pants, surely scratching Axel in the process. “Take your coat off,” he commanded, and that was gone too.

“Isa,” Axel groaned, adjusting his arms in an attempt to be comfortable.

“Look at you,” Saix hissed, clawing fingernails down Axel’s sides and back. “Bent over for me like the whore you are. Call me ‘Isa’ one more time and I’ll force myself in without prepping you.”

Axel flinched, hiding his face in his arms. 

“What will it be?”

“Do it.”

“You are _horrible_ at begging.” Saix pulled his face up by Axel’s hair. “What will it be, _VIII?”_

“Please prep me with your fingers, Saix.”

“Dry?”

“No,” he shrunk. 

“I don’t have anything,” Saix hummed. “I still have my coat on. I can teleport us to my quarters. But you’ll have to convince me.”

“Please, Saix. Take me there. I need you to.”

“Fine. My room is secluded. No one will hear your pleas.”

The second the setting changed, Axel was thrown onto Saix’s writing desk, same as the library. “I have half a mind to gag you,” thought Saix nonchalantly. “I’d shut you up if I did not want you to beg.”

“Just hurry up and get the lube!” Axel barked, earning another tug on his hair. A pathetic yelp escaped his lips. 

“ _Only_ begging, you fucking brat.” 

He dropped him back down. Axel heard a drawer open and close, then Saix approaching. He didn’t warn before nudging in his index finger; Axel groaned in response. 

“How fortunate that while emotions have left us, our bodies still respond to physical pleasure,” Saix droned, knuckle deep in Axel. “I can fuck you like this without fear of becoming attached.”

Axel muttered something under his breath that Saix couldn’t catch.

“What was that? Did I offend your memory?”

“No,” Axel huffed. “I… Another finger. Please spread me. Saix.”

“As you wish.” He wasted no time, plunging in to open the man beneath him. Axel gasped and squirmed, but never wavered, never protested. Saix would only brush against his prostate, never truly giving him full pleasure.

“Saix, I…!”

“You what?” he scoffed. “I’m not here to make you cum from my fingers alone. If you do, that’s not my problem. You will still get fucked into the desk until you cannot comprehend a damn thing.”

Axel moaned without shame, pressing his hips back.

“Figures you like being used.”

“Fuck!” Axel growled, trembling on the desk. “Fuck, Saix. Use me. Just do it. I need your fingers. Three. God fucking damn it.”

“Huh.” He complied, earning a satisfied groan. “How long has it been for you, Axel? Have you been a sap to you precious memories and reserved yourself strictly to me?”

“It’s none of your goddamn business,” Axel spat.

Saix pulled the flames of hair again with his free hand. “Is this the thanks you wanted the whole time? You could have just asked. I would have agreed to it. Fucking you into submission.”

“Maybe s-something like that,” Axel managed. “Woulda been better than the nothing I got.”

Saix hummed, releasing his hair and clawing down Axel’s back. “I cannot feel gratitude, Axel.”

“Bullshit.” Saix twisted his fingers forcefully, sending Axel reeling. “Shit! Damn it! Just fucking fuck me already, Saix. Put me in that goddamn place you have talked up so much.”

“That’s not very good begging,” he commented. His free hand slid down his back, his side, and finally grasped his cock, giving it a cruel thrust.

Axel inhaled sharply. “Is—Saix! Fuck! _Please!”_

“Please _what?”_

“Please, I need you! I need to be filled; I need _you_ to fill me!”

“Good boy,” purred Saix, retracting his fingers. A zip, and the head of his cock was pressing Axel’s asshole, but not enough to enter.

“You’re not even gonna take your clothes off?” He tried to carry heat in his words, but his body betrayed him, Axel’s voice coming out far more wrecked than he would have liked. 

“You’re not worth that.” He slid in, Axel biting back a moan. But Saix wavered too, a breathy moan escaping him. “You’re just as tight as I remember.”

Axel didn’t respond, only trying to steady his breathing.

“Perhaps it would be a good thing if you were caught on me.” His hands caressed every inch of skin they could reach. “How much control would I really have over you if someone else touched you like this? Soiled you?”

“F-for someone who claims not to care, you sure are taking your time letting me adjust.” 

Saix was thankful Axel couldn’t see his face. “Well, I don’t aim to break you like _that._ You’d be of no use to me then.”

Axel laughed once, condescending. “How considerate.” 

Saix backed up, slid back down, but only once. Axel inhaled underneath him. “Are you filled to your liking?”

“Thought… you didn’t care.”

“I don’t. I was curious. This is what you are getting regardless.”

Axel sighed, pressing his hips back. “Well. It is. Feels… good.” 

Saix moved again, this time finding a steady rhythm. “You feel good as well.”

“Th-thanks?” he managed before Saix hit him at just the right angle, pleasure pooling in his stomach.

“There you are.”

“Oh, shit, Isa,” Axel groaned. _“Shit!”_

“I can stop if you wish to call me by that name.”

“Let me have this,” he breathed. “Please.”

“Keep it to yourself. I don’t want to hear it. Especially not like this.”

Axel’s thighs were certainly bruising, smacking the desk like this— potentially not even at full force. Should he close his eyes and pretend nothing has changed, that this is Isa he was giving himself to? Or should he admit that what he had become, what Saix _was,_ was something powerful and terrifying, something that he wanted dominating him completely?

Axel began to feel light, every slam of Saix’s hips shooting white-hot feeling through his entire body. It was enough to not make him want to talk back anymore. Enough to give in.

“Saix!” he yelped, searching for something to hold onto. “Shit. _Shit.”_

“Something to say?” He was clearly attempting to steady his voice. As if this didn’t phase him too.

“Use me,” he begged. 

Saix moved, pinning Axel’s hands on the desk with his own. “Is that not what I am doing?”

“God— bite me or something! I can’t—”

“You want me to mark you?” Saix chuckled. “Convince me.”

“Please, Saix; I need you to. Sink your teeth into me. I need you to mark me as y-yours.”

Axel screamed as teeth sunk into his shoulder, Saix reserving absolutely nothing. Saix stopped when he tasted that unmistakable metallic, halting only to lick it off his skin.

“Doesn’t it feel good to give in?” Saix purred against the wound. “You’re so pretty when you’re obedient.”

They would both ponder over that comment later, when they were thinking clearly. When they would pretend this didn’t happen. “I’m close,” Axel choked. “Can I come? Please?”

“That’s cute.” Saix removed himself with an erotic pop; Axel’s eyes flew open at the loss.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Did I not say that I’m not here to make you cum?” A hand snaked in Axel’s hair, grabbing and throwing him backwards onto the floor.

“I could have just moved if you had asked,” Axel hissed. 

Saix ignored him, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Come here, Axel. Your mouth.”

Axel was all too eager to crawl to him, putting his head in his mouth with the twirl of his tongue. 

Saix exhaled at the sensation. “Seems your mouth is good for more than talking, hmm?”

Axel hummed over his cock, which twitched at the feeling. 

His hands laced into Axel’s hair, a far gentler touch then the prior. “What a good boy you are, Axel. I always knew you had it in you.”

He didn’t respond, fearful of what would happen if he stopped.

“Oh, sweet thing,” Saix shook. “Your face or your throat? I’ll let you choose.”

Axel rose off his dick, obediently displaying his tongue expectantly.

“What a pretty face,” he sighed, stroking his length with his free hand. The other moved to Axel’s chin, tilting up. “You’d do this for me, as you lurk in shadow for me?”

“I want you to succeed,” Axel said simply. “Use me as you see fit.”

Cum painted his features, letting Saix ride out the feeling. Each stroke Saix seemed to lose composure more and more. Axel swore he heard his somebody’s name whispered on Saix’s lips as he released. Better not to get his hopes up. 

Axel reached to wipe his face, but flinched, thinking better of it. Awaiting instruction, he looked up at Saix.

He reached out for Axel, wiping with his fingers. “Taste me. Take my fingers.”

He met them with the same enthusiasm he had for his cock.

“I think you have earned your climax,” Saix breathed, entranced watching Axel’s lips. The roof of his boot nudged under Axel, the cool material pressing against the length of his cock. Axel gasped. “You could come like this, but you know you’d have to lick it clean after.”

He flinched. “Do I have another option?”

“Sit on my lap.”

He obliged, exposed skin uncomfortable on his sleek trousers. One hand held him in place on the small of his back, the other snaked around Axel’s poor weeping cock. Teeth brushed on Axel’s collarbone. The redhead moaned without shame, for he had none left.

“How much we could have avoided if you would simply listen like you are now,” he purred.

“Is that pride?” he said, intending heat but finding none in his voice.

“Do I remember pride?” The speed of his palm picked up, causing Axel’s breath to become short and choppy as he tried to control himself. “You are allowed to come, Axel.”

His gasp turned into a moan as pleasure exploded throughout his body, and if he nuzzled into Saix’s blue locks, trying to remember the scent, he would never admit. Saix permitted it, letting Axel collapse onto him. As he came down from his high, he let out a raspy laugh. “Bet I got it on your coat and you want me to replace a washing machine with my tongue.”

“I… I’ll take care of it,” Saix murmured. “Unless you wish to.”

Perhaps Saix was realizing where he was, what he had just done -- but he seemed distant, maybe even unsure. “I can uh, get a towel.”

The hand on his back was still securely in place. “You know I struggle to recall gratitude. Yes?”

Axel blinked, but didn’t move out of his embrace. “Why?”

“I am… frustrated. With some of your choices,” he admitted, barely audible, as if someone could be listening. “You are insufferable. At times. But, at least for now, you have not betrayed me. I… I am…”

“You don’t have to say it,” Axel whispered. “Wouldn’t want you to strain yourself.”

“But do you even know?”

“Does it matter?”

“Would it change your behavior if you did or did not?”

Axel sighed. “If it wasn’t obvious from me letting you fuck me senseless, I still trust you. Even if I really have to try in order to see it. I said I want you to succeed. I meant it. And maybe, in turn, you’ll remember who we were.”  
“If you’d like to do this again, let me know. It seems a mutually beneficial reward,” he droned. 

Axel exhaled as his slid off of him, collecting his clothes. As his coat shrugged onto his shoulders, Axel spoke. “Just… think about what I said, Isa.”

Darkness engulfed him before Saix could retaliate.

**Author's Note:**

> i never thought i'd post smut but here we are. i wrote this for my best friend please be nice to me i am very sensitive.


End file.
